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Category Archives: Just me

As I am; stubborn and headstrong

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My body is wandering aimlessly, I feel like the day, gray. Today the sun is not shining on me, it wasn’t by my window, I thought I would see it, but didn’t. I ache all over, my bed calls me and I could not fulfill it. Masochist I am, I don’t think that it is.

My soul and my body says NO, but at the same time says YES, but I feel like dying. I want to be strong, but my sky are crying, asking me to rest my body and I’m still standing and without cause.

I’m cruel, but I am not, I wake up, but no strength to fight the battle. My mind wants me to move, my body wants to rest, and not allows it. Desperate yells

“damn miserable, I have no strength, do not play the brave, and let me where it wants this body, that just reclaims,  rest”.

I know! I can understand.

I know I have to rest, but, how to make myself understood, in this body, almost lifeless?, what to do, when they don’t want to. Is difficult to see how your body changes when you feel bad, and as your

“face says a thousand words without saying one”.

You body strong, feeling sad, you just want a break, rest.

“A mind that works and acts upon the impulses of a machine that cries openly;

“Rests, tomorrow is another day.”

As I am; stubborn and headstrong,  will do the opposite until this body can not more, and fall.

“Just me, asking for a YES, to stop,  NO, which prevents me from being me”

People do what ever, for ignoring the sign, that the body give.

 “We complained and preach otherwise”

“Too bad, is true”




My Moment

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I have watched the sky as the clouds were scattered everywhere, so watch for a while and felt he spoke to me, gave me the answer I’ve wanted for so long. If you ask me what heaven say?, I can not tell with much certainty, because he was so clear and sharp to my eyes, I could tell he did not want anyone noticing, out of my eyes many tears that no one could see, because I was wearing glasses.

I kept watching my heaven, though in part it looked gray in others noticed her beautiful blue, a cloud suddenly uncovered the blond sun, my eyes to reflect on the other hand, because of course, was my husband looking at me, and I suddenly knew that the union of heaven and myself, was secret and that we would see at other times only when he wanted.

God works in mysterious ways and now I can vouch for that. He and I had a moment of complete peace, where we communicated only by thoughts, but I felt so secure that not even the noise of the cars I felt, was like me and him alone, and no one else existed.

Now I want to happen again, feel the heat, the wind rubbing my face and feel that gives me his blessing at all times. I share my story because it was very refreshing to know that I count on him as he knows he can count on me. It was my time and I will write upon my memory as the best of my days. In good hour!

Lack of respect for the human being of those who appear to be!

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That’s enough! to be good and comprehensive and to do silent about what one feels. The actors are still players every passing day, and they forget that they are human. Can one actor let,  the actor on the set, and be more  human when is not acting?. Did they forget that thanks to the fans is that they are what they are today?.

As Fans we are still supporting them; no matter how they treat us. Then we spit out loud their arrogant way to look people or the way he or her speaks to us. How can we understand people?
Is that most of the actors have the ” super ego” very up , in their head.

The fame has two differences;

  1. You are up in your career.
  2. You are down in the forgetting.

But remember that ” What goes up comes down”  Not writing this to offend anyone but it’s true what I say. We must recognize that there are actors who are human off the set.

To mention several;

* JIM BEAVER, excellent, human being, excellent father, actor par excellence, very humble.

*Jensen Ackles,  humble; funny; very good friend. Always has a good smile for everyone no matter who is speaking with him.

*Jared Padalecki, Like his (brother and best friend JENSEN), are like two drops of water, comic, humble, is simply on and off the set a human being.

I don’t have to know them to know who they are; you only have to see and hear them.

If we talk about;

*Micha Collins, humble and always is willing to talk with everyone. Always has his mischievous smile.

“They are humble people who are unique and don’t stop being themselves, ever”.

I can still mention others, like Ben Affleck, Paul  Walker, Vin Diesel, Will Smith etc. But others is to harsh and can’t be written. I can’t deal with the “EGO” thing.

“Another one more humble as the clear water”

* Kim Rhodes, A human being, excellent, good humor, her smile captivates everyone and always puts her best face in any situation. ” She is a woman worthy role to model”

We can’t let the opportunity to say that mostly Latin actors, are just like American actors. You can’t see the differences. Most of them, are human being and know how to treat people.

Other actors should learn. Respect is not, does, respect is earned by deeds, mutual respect should be reciprocated.

“Giving and giving, flying little bird”

Easier said than done is a long way.


“The human being must be unique and real, not a cheap copy, of what is not.”

What I Feel!

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How to know what I feel, if only I feel nothing, I’ve written a thousand words where it makes sense on paper that reflects what I feel, when you do not feel anything, if even I understand myself, I scream the four winds that my being felt, when my being exploited, is the mark of what a day I felt, without any sense of a being that is neither understood the improbability of this world round as a globe, but short values and common sense, where we are hypocrites, and shake hands when we really want to slap, the one who with his eye a stone wants to give.

The ocean is endless like my love for those who always hold out my hand without expecting anything in return. I am a being who only knows how to give, you never know when to say no, that’s why when I repeat a thousand times that I feel nothing, my soul is saying it only knows that if I can, whenever you want, and not say or feel to say no, I can not or do not want. Who can explain what is inexplicable if only I came to this earth to serve and give, and cease to be, I, to be, of others.

If I dared to say that I’m an angel, I would say I am the angel that is on your side, that encourages you and gives you the hand that supports you cry on my shoulder when you are, and I said don’t worry here I am. I am what I am, and I’m here for you, find me anytime I wait here in the same place as always, holding out a helping hand to all who need it, because I am the angel that lights you up and you will not forsake nor night; or day.

God bless me with this gift, and give me light to continue on my mission, to follow and fight for what I believe will be my blessing.

You only you

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When we strive to do what your heart tells us is when most trips are just around the corner unexpectedly. Because these things happen I can not explain, I have dreams to achieve goals and purposes, I feel I deserve a chance to be myself and not be what others want it to be, and is good to be so kind and leave behind my being.

I’m like a bird wants to fly, without wings, or like the hibernating bear asleep waiting for winter to leave.

That compared to mine, but I am so that I can say without saying more screaming, my soul waits to be heard and is not reciprocated.

Shout to the world a statement of understanding madness and absurdity of fighting a tireless writer, sitting at the computer just expressing what she feels, leaving a note reflected in what she expects and waiting for you only you read it, and let me longs to know what my soul and my heart longs to hear without having to say I am what I am only a being waiting to be heard by you.